Alphabet Soup

Here is a little glimpse into my world through the ABCs of life.
A is for arthritis, which is in my back and neck. Pain is something that I live with each and every day. All I can do is continue to push through it…Hence, softball.

B is for bowling. I used to be a very good bowler. I even have a perfect game to my credit.

C is for choirboy. All through elementary school and high school I sang in choirs. I love choral music. Last year, my oldest brother surprised me at Christmas with a CD that he had digitally transferred from an old album of my high school choir’s Christmas music. Boy, did that bring back memories.

D is for David, my name. It’s one of those names that allows for various permutations. I have gone by Dave, David, D. Michael, D.M. until finally settling in on an appreciation of David. Though really, I will answer to anything other than Davy. Only one person ever got away with calling me that…but that’s another story.

E is for Eugene, OR. I lived there for one year. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth. If ever given the chance, I would retire there. The sense of déjà vu that I experience in that part of the country is amazing.

F is for family. It means so much to me. That’s the main reason for me to be living in Florida…nearness to my brother and mother.

G is for Greyhound. Go Greyhound! And leave the driving to us. NEVER AGAIN! After more than 3 days on buses from Eugene, OR to Tampa, FL, I will never again set foot on a bus. You truly meet the dregs of society.

H is for home. I am a nester. It doesn’t take long after moving for me to decorate, put things in their place, and turn a house into a home.

I is for inseam. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a 29” inseam in pants?

J is for jury duty. I’ve being stuck on the jury for a murder trial. OMG!

K is for keepsakes. I really don’t have too many things anymore that have been passed down from generation to generation. Mostly, I have a couple of individual pieces of kitchenware that I got when my grandmother died. My keepsakes lean more toward the old family pictures that grace our walls.

L is for Leo, my zodiac sign. Enough said.

M is for martinis and margaritas. Enough said.

N is for nuance. Life is filled with intricacies. Doors open. Doors close. Subtle changes in atmosphere surround. A wink, a nod, and a grin…each witness to the language of the body and the soul.

O is for opera. I have a great love for opera. I also have/had a voice that lent itself well to the medium. It was good enough to be considered for the Chicago Conservatory of Music. Sadly, my parents didn’t have the funds to make that a reality.

P is for platinum…as in a nice little band with sapphires for the ring finger on my left hand. (key wedding music, please)

Q is for queer. That’s how I identify as a gay man. And no, I did not misspell it.

R is for rheumatic fever. I contracted this disease as a child. It held me back from physical activity for many years. It turned me into a loner when I couldn’t join the other kids for recess.

S is for sewing. My ex-wife taught me and I went on to sew dresses for her and lounge pants for myself. Some day I will pull out the machine Thom brought and maybe put together some window treatments or pillows.

T is for tiffany, as in lamps. When Thom was showing me pics of his stuff so we could decide what he should move down here, I jumped at the chance to bring his tiffany lamps into our décor. I have always been a fan of stained glass…honey, where is that studio you’re going to use?

U is for Ultimate Frisbee….aside from softball it is easily my favorite sport. If only I were 10 years younger and 40 lbs lighter.

V is for voice. When I turned 40, I began to feel a voice rising from the depths of my being. That voice has found resonance in my writing. Maybe some day my voice will be heard by millions, rather than the select few.

W is for Wisconsin. Our family vacations were always to the north woods for a week of fishing. And I do mean fishing…morning, afternoon, and night.

X is for the X-factor…the unknown. In Buddhist philosophy it is prudent to live in “don’t know.” In this way, you meet the future with open arms.

Y is for youth group leader at church. Ever been in charge of middle school age kids? Ever done a lock-in Halloween party in the school? Ever feel like you have been through the wringers? Ever seen the face of kids light up when you offer to play wiffle ball with them? It’s all in the joy of mentoring.

Z is for zoologist. It was my dream as a kid to work at a zoo. Somewhere along the line that dream fell by the wayside.

Reality Bites - a repost from 360

Obsession? Escapism? Or, is it just our desire to see people humiliated, demeaned, and driven to extremes?

What am I talking about?

Reality TV, of course.

It’s near impossible to browse the airwaves on a given night without coming across people vying for some prize or another. There is even a satellite channel devoted to this burgeoning genre.
Reality shows have come and gone, but some of the forebears remain…Survivor, Big Brother, and the Amazing Race. These are the scions of the “let’s win us some money” branch of reality shows.

Another branch is the “I have talent. Really, I do. And if I don’t, I still hope to get my 30 seconds of fame” contests. These include America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, and the most successful of all reality shows…American Idol.

Of course, there are also the completely ludicrous but highly entertaining “reality” shows…Who Wants To Be A Superhero? (One of my favorite shows, for it exhibits the absolute best in stupidity and escapism).

But there is another branch that catches my attention more than any other…
I call it the “I know what kind of career I want and winning could give it a HUGE boost.” America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, Next Food Network Star, Top Design, Shear Genius all fall into this category. There are some of these that I have to admit a great love. I find shows that take things like clothing design and cooking allow me to see the creative process from conceptualization to execution. Often I am blown away by what some of these people can do.

Still…I think there is plenty of room for new entries into the genre.
Wouldn’t you just love to see some of THESE shows?

Top Trash – Americans compete in the ultimate garbage challenge. Trash talking ensues as
wannabe civil servants vie for the position of Chief Trash Collector of NYC.

Who Wants To Be A Recycler? – Contestants are given various challenges in keeping with the theme Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. The winner is given a job as caretaker of Al Gore’s multi-million dollar home in Tennessee.

America’s Next Best Selling Author – Aspiring writers face quick fire and elimination challenges proposed by some of America’s most famous authors. Judges include Gore Vidal, Nan Talese, and Stephen King. The winner receives a contract for three novels to be published by Random House and a guaranteed slot on Oprah’s Book of the Month.

I Can Write Songs, Too – Ditties come to life. Torch songs flourish. In this offshoot, contestant battle time and each other to become the next great songwriter. Barry Manilow hosts this show, while Carole Bayer Sager, Burt Bacharach, and Sir Elton John judge the winner, who will be paired with the next winner of American Idol to write songs for their debut album.
None of these compares with my favorite…

TOP SURGEON!

Hosted by Dr. Robert Jarvik, recent graduates from some of the top medical schools in the country vie for the position of Chief Surgeon at Cedars Sinai Medical Center. Can’t you just see it…
Dr. Jarvik: Good morning, contestants. For today’s quick fire challenge, you will be performing an emergency tracheotomy.
{The contestants look at each other with knowing confidence.}
Dr. Jarvik: BUT…there is a catch. You must perform the surgery with an every day household item.
{An aide dressed in scrubs wheels in a stainless steel cart.}
Dr. Jarvik walks over to the cart and pulls away a cloth, revealing these implements utensils: Bic pen, Refrigerator Tubing, and other “right tools for the right job,” as my grandfather used to say.
{The contestants gasp in unison.}
Dr. Jarvik: You will have 5 minutes to complete this challenge, starting…NOW!
{Curtains part and patients are seen lying in hospital beds, waiting}

25 Thoughts

1. Growing up, my older brothers resented the attention I gained so much that they took to derisively calling me King David. I was oblivious.
2. I’m also oblivious if someone is interested in me. Flirting is completely lost. Unless you hit me over the head caveman style, I will just see everything as innocent conversation.
3. I am woefully—contrary to popular belief—and am uncomfortable in any social situation where I don’t know anyone. The only way I bypass the fear of starting up a conversation is to pretend that I am working.
4. One thing I learned over the years is that—unless I am truly passionate about my job—I live by the credo of “working to live, not living to work.”
5. Passion is something that I have always felt myself to be lacking. I see people who dive into life with gusto, while I feel as if I have been lurking in the shadows for much of my life. I am in awe of those whose passion focuses their actions.
6. It frustrates me that back pain has caused me to give up two things that I am passionate about—bowling, gardening, and softball.
7. Writing has become something I enjoy, but so far find difficulty (lack of passion?) in making the time necessary to be successful. Considering I found my writing voice after turning 40, I give myself at least a few years to publish my own version of the Great American Novel.
8. Rarely do I get invited to parties. Not sure if that means I’m boring and unpopular or whether (more likely) I’m forgettable and an afterthought. Sometimes I feel left out and unloved because of this.
9. I find it hard to maintain friendships after I move away. That’s what has made FaceBook so fun. I’ve re-connected with quite a few people, including some I haven’t seen or talked with in more than 30 years.
10. I cook like my mother—casseroles, meat & potatoes—and rarely take culinary risks.
11. Also, like my mother, I love DisneyWorld and, much to Thom’s chagrin, could spend every vacation there. I find it comforting and the experience never fails to put a smile on my face.
12. Rollercoasters frighten me and I have given over to my fear for Thom’s sake (he loves them and will do anything that involves speed). But I still have my limits.
13. I have never been out of the country and don’t even have a passport. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to visit some places, but finances being what they are I never imagine being able to afford traveling the world.
14. I love playing board games and party games, just as long as I don’t have to draw anything—Picasso I ain’t.
15. There have been times when I showed an interest in picking up a musical instrument and learning how to play. Frustration sets in almost immediately when perfection doesn’t spontaneously appear. I guess this comes from the fact that I pick up most things easily whether it be computer programs, sports, or trivia.
16. Coming up with 25 things is excruciating. Talking about “me” is a chore. I’d really rather be learning about you.
17. Some people are afraid of failure. I, on the other hand, think that I suffer from a fear of success.
18. Of all the places I’ve lived (Chicago, Oregon, NY’s Hudson Valley, South Florida), I would like to retire in Oregon (that’s Ore-E-Gun, son). I’ve never lived in someplace with as many shades of green.
19. Too often I have amazing ideas, but little follow-up. I really should be employed by a major corporation as a visionary.
20. Because I don’t express it, you may not know how much of a friend I consider you to be. I care deeply about so many people and never forget those I consider in my heart to be worthy of friendship. Acquaintances come and go, but friendships, though time and distance get in the way, last forever.
21. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said anything profound, but I have uttered encyclopedias of profane.
22. I love my family deeply. No matter how long it has been since we’ve seen each other, each is precious in my eyes.
23. I am loved and in love. It is the most wonderful essence.
24. Of all the regrets I have throughout the course of my life, it’s that I’ve never had the opportunity to become a father. I know that I would’ve made a great dad. Now I live in a state where I couldn’t adopt, even if I wanted, just for being gay. How many children lose out on loving homes because of the ignorance of others.
25. I still believe in Santa. For me he embodies the goodness of the world.